JoJo Siwa flops into the spotlight with “Karma”

If you’re going to rebrand from teeny-bopper to Very Edgy Adult (™), you may want to pick a song written by someone who hasn’t exclusively produced music for the Disney Channel.

For the blissfully unaware, JoJo Siwa is a child-reality star turned YouTuber turned children’s toy tycoon turned “singer”. At just 20, Siwa’s most recent rebrand has been largely panned as cringy. As much as I hate to pile on, well, here it goes.

“Karma” was written by Tim James, Antonina Armato, and Desmond Child, whose credits include “Bet on It” from High School Musical, “If We Were A Movie” from the Hannah Montana soundtrack, and “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin. To be honest, I would classify these songs as “Bop”, “Jam”, and “Banger” musically, but what they have in common is their less-than-stellar lyrics. “Karma”, as a result, is the best showing of a team whose harshest critics have historically been 14-years-old.

[Verse 1]

I was a bad girl, I did some bad things / I swear I did it all for fun and it meant nothing

It never happened, it was a secret / Like when a tree falls in the forest, no one hears it

As she’s said herself, Siwa is looking to have her very own Miley Cyrus Bangerz moment. After all, Cyrus had also been itching to break out from her squeaky-clean Hannah Montana persona before reinventing herself. At the time, though, Miley’s insistence that she “Can’t be tamed” rang true, following leaked videos of her [gasp] smoking drugs. This lapse in memory is understandable, considering Siwa was seven at the time of the scandal. In the present, it seems she’s more concerned with the attention she’ll get from claiming bad girl status than actually achieving it. 

Then, there’s  the production. Right off the bat, you can tell this song is the best effort of an underpaid sound engineer to blend two voices together. Siwa, despite her best efforts, cannot hold a tune. Throughout the song, you can hear artifacts from this blending and aggressive pitch correction, which lands the vocals firmly in the uncanny valley.

Brit Smith in her version of “Karma”

One can’t help but compare this song to the hypothetical better song it could’ve been. What’s that? That version exists? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that “Karma” has a long-lost twin who got accutane, braces, and a makeover. “Karma” by JoJo Siwa, meet “Karma” by Brit Smith.

While entangled in the same lyrical mess as Siwa’s version, Smith’s take on “Karma” has the power of an actual singer and freaking Timbaland on its side. I highly encourage you to listen to these side by side and never again take the influence of a good producer for granted.

Despite Timbaland’s best efforts, though, nothing can save this song from itself. 

[Verse 1 - continued]

Another late night, another crazy mood / And I didn't think twice what it would do to you

I was a wild child. you always knew it / It was a matter of time before I blew it

If this song wasn’t written in 2011, I would swear it had been ChatGPTed together from every song ever featured on Love Island.

When we get to the pre-chorus, we finally find a part that has the potential to be interesting. Invoking religion is about the most dangerous part of a song that’s presumably about how very edgy the singer’s become. The little jump up in the melody on “thou shall not cheat” is the least derivative melody in the entire song, and is performed serviceably by Smith and the way you’d expect by Siwa.

Siwa and Malia Murray in the “Karma” video

[Pre-Chorus]

Thou shall not lie, thou shall not cheat

Thou shall not get caught or you'll end up just like me, oh

Siwa stares down the viewer, daring them to close the tab during the unbearable, unnecessary two measures of drop out.

If you’ve ever been to a Kohl’s department store, you’re familiar with the type of production treatment the chorus got, no need to listen for yourself. 

Yes, Siwa says “effed” around, which is WILD because even the Brit Smith version says “messed around”, you know, the thing you would say if you didn’t want to swear? But you want to… almost swear? You changed it TO “effed”? What is this song?

Another sizable difference between the two versions is the eight count dropout that is undeservedly stuck in the Siwa version after “thou shall not get caught”. What have you done to earn that drop out young lady? TWO BARS? We haven’t even gotten to the first chorus yet! This is lunacy! You know what, I take back my mild compliment about the pre-chorus.

[Chorus]

Karma's a bitch, I should've known better

If I had a wish, I would've never effed around

When I saw the pics of you and her, I fеlt the knife twist

Karma's a bitch, and she's with you right now

I could talk about the last line of the chorus for days. This shoehorned attempt at being clever betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of how to tell an effective story. Rhetorically, if the point of the song is what goes around comes around, the punctuation on the end of the chorus needs to be introspective, not a hastily-made jab that makes the singer look like an idiot, an asshole, or both. Why not “Karma’s a bitch, I guess I found out”? Because this is not a good song, it’s not trying to be a good song, it’s trying to get people to talk about JoJo Siwa and in that respect, touché. 

Analyzing the second verse and the bridge might actually prove fatal, so I’m going to stop here, barring two small comments. One: The song gets points for having a bridge. It’s not a good bridge, but it’s there. Two: I’m not going to comment on the music video or dancing because mine are an abomination so I’ll leave you with a selection of my favorite comments:

Crowd Carries BORNS at Riverside

This post was originally published on Marquettewire.org

Garrett Clark Borns, known better as BORNS, first visited Milwaukee in 2013, playing Summerfest’s Emerging Artist Stage. Since then, it seems, the Michigan-born musician has gained quite the engaged fanbase.

Last night, before his set even started, the audience made enough noise to trick the unassuming ear that the artist had arrived onstage.

At one point, cheers of, “Garrett, Garrett, Garrett!” rippled through the crowd like a verbal wave.

When the artist finally took the stage, it became clear to anyone who had followed his music that BORNS was playing his newest album, “Blue Madonna,” front to back.

This was an interesting strategy, one that is rarely used outside of 10-year anniversary tours of incredibly popular albums.

The performance itself lacked the charisma of BORNS’ tours following his 2015 release, “Dopamine.” He strutted around the stage, knowing the audience would scream with his every move. This is in contrast with his earlier tours, during which he wielded a guitar for the majority of the show.

I would have liked to see BORNS’ voice featured more prominently. At times, he seemed buried under heavy synths and backing vocals.

The majority of the audience, it is worth mentioning, did not have the same qualms as me. Every move and song prompted high-pitched and prolonged screaming. I’ve never been to a show at which the audience sang so loudly to every song that the band was drowned out at times.

Following in the mold of unusual concert procedure, BORNS and his band went on to have an encore that lasted six songs. That is entirely unheard of and uncalled for in my opinion. Encore sets are to be three songs maximum. Stick to that.

Overall, BORNS was an entertaining concert. I would have loved to hear more from him and less from the screaming girls in the crowd, but I will definitely be returning if he comes back to Milwaukee.

SETLIST:

God Save Our Young Blood

Faded Heart

Sweet Dreams

We Don’t Care

Man

Iceberg

Second Night of Summer

I Don’t Want U Back

Tension (Interlude)

Supernatural

Blue Madonna

Bye-bye Darling

Encore:

Seeing Stars

10,000 Emerald Pools

American Money

Past Lives

Holy Ghost

Electric Love

With Mosh Pits, Spit Fits, Screaming Females Tears it Up →

This post was originally published on Marquettewire.org

View fullsize

Have you ever been to a concert that changed your outlook on life? Until yesterday, I couldn’t say I had. After traveling nearly two hours to the Brauerhouse in Lombard, Illinois, I thought, “This show had better make my night.” It did me one better.

The show started Chicago natives Rad Payoff, who played their hearts out and showed their potential for further success. Street Eaters was slightly less impressive, yet if they had filled their sound out with more treble and less bass, they might have been a better precursor for the headliners of the night.

Screaming Females’ Marissa Paternoster started the show with a quaint hello that did not prepare the audience for what was coming next: A frenzied, bordering on out-of-control show that didn’t allow a single lapse in attention.

After the first song, the energy in the crowd was palpable. If you listened, you could pick out a few mutterings of “I can’t believe she’s right there,” and, “This is insane.” Otherwise, the ambient noise in the room from screeching amplifiers and piercing guitar pedals overcame any single party.

The 5-foot-2 Paternoster has no business controlling a room the way she does. Foaming at the mouth helps, I guess. When you’re busy shredding away on guitar, it only occurs to you to wipe the spit off your mouth after a song ends.

The rest of the show only got more manic. Paternoster jumped in and out of the crowd, screamed, ripped off her VIP backstage bracelet, stood on stage monitors and headbanged all to the audience’s delight.

As much as one tends to gravitate toward the rock goddess at the forefront, the rhythm section of Screaming Females is the basis for the pure rollicking joy they produce. “King” Mike Abbate on bass guitar held Paternoster’s frenzied solos to the pulse while giving his own life to the setlist. Even if you extracted the lead guitar, this show would have had the same vitality. Jarrett Dougherty’s drums accentuated each change and ushered the crowd into a feverish rave.

Abbate told of his love for Milwaukee after the show, even confessing his love for the Riverwest Co-Op’s breakfast the morning after shows. He even hinted at an upcoming tour date in Milwaukee.

If Screaming Females blesses our city with a show in the near future, I implore you to go. This band has transcended punk music and joined the greats.

SETLIST:

“Foul Moth”

“Lights Out”

“Criminal Image”

“Burning Car”

“Rose Mountain”

“Empty Head”

“Help Me”

“A Good Flying Bird”

“Halfway Down”

“I Don’t Mind It”

Encore:

“Boyfriend”